In Dileeeeemmmmmaaaaaaa.......

Soon my friends and I will fly to Russia to further our studies in medic field.So, whats wrong my dear, Pamela?

Moscow State University

Ermmm...nothing wrong actually...its only that....ermmm...трудно сказать...    

Then, why do u seems like uneasy? Tell me please...

'sharing is caring'...

Nizhny Novgorad State Medical Academy

Actually,50% of my heart say ( I am very happy because soon I will go overseas & can study in medic field.I am very close to achieve my ambition now) 

BUT 

on the other side, my heart say ( I will leave my family and my friends soon.I will not be able to meet them after I go there.If Im lucky enough, I will go back to Malaysia once a year.That is my plan for now but everything can change.We only can plan but God will decide everything because He knows what is the best for us)  

Volgograd State Medical University

  Поетому я грустная сейчас      

So, now which university I want? 

Москва (Moscow) или 

               Нижний Новгород ( Nizhny Novgorad) или

Волгоград (Volgograd) 

университет?

Nevermind laa....anywhere also can...anywhere also I can gain new knowledge...as long as Im willing to study...6 years I will live there...6 years I will study there...6 years I will be far apart from my family...6 years I will struggle there...in 6 years....that 6 years will determine everything in my life...

Which one is my first choice? My second choice? My third choice? Hmmm...I am in a big dilemma...I dont know which one to choose.Every of that university have pros and cons...

Let say if I say I want to go to Moscow, all the subjects are in russian....haish...

Anatomy? Physiology? Histology? Physics? Chemistry? Mathematics? 

All are in russian...*anatomy dlm BI pun blum pass2 lagi, ni kan pulak nak bljr anatomy dlm russian...dlm kelas Russian masa kat Intec pun tergagap-gagap nak ckp russian, ni kan pulak nak hafal anatomy dlm russian? 'Jauh panggang dari api' моя дорогая Памела... 

How about Nizhny Novgorad? Hmmm...dont know what to say because I never heard anything about that before...maybe ok laa...I also not sure what I want...hehe...but maybe better than other universities that need to study 6 days per week (Monday to Saturday)...surprise enough to know the fact of russian universities?
However,это факт! 

How about Volgograd? Hmmm...this one is the hardest one...make me confuse whether I want to go there or not...6 days study in a week...hmmm...quite challenging for me...however,I can meet мой любимый друг...hmmm...to make thing simple, not need to think much about it...just let my sponsor determine it...haha!

Это всё о моём тексте

Пока!  

Our Best Moment At KLCC

Здравствйте! 

Как твои дела мои дорогие подруги?

Посмотрите зто фото...

Это я...хехе...как Mickey Mouse, да?

Ride motorcycle with Sumontha Chaiyok! Ura!

          We went to KLCC on that day because we want to redeem our RM200 voucher.Hehe...we went to Kinokuniya in the building named as KLCC.Thats was my 2nd time I went there.The first time I went there, it was 'kashmar' & really make me very trauma & paranoid.Mmm...I dont think I want to tell anything about it.It was a scary experience.I went there with my housemates, Sumontha, Nik & Ama.Actually I had redeemed my voucher before this but I willing to accompany them because I want to get out of this 'skuchnoye mesta'.Haha...

Thats us! We ride a car. Where is Sabor? Sabor is not in the picture because she is the one take picture.

This is Nik or Sabor or Niko or Gedik.She has many weird names.That are the specialities of her.

We enjoy ourself there.Ura! What a best moment since I come here!

My friends Ama, Sumontha & Nik.

Spasiba u Paka-paka!




Thats all for this time.I will update my blog again from time to time my dear friends.
Paka-paka!
I miss all of you
Take care
May God Bless You
Amin.

5S1 First Reunion at Esplanade Miri

We met again at last.From left to right is Абдул Назрин, Ликадсен, Памела (зто я), Зйрик Бема, Рихийх Джений, Джонатен, Сафрина, Нурул Атира and our photographer, Габриелла .
 

 

Just like usual.We play football just like before.That was our class favourite game right? Haha

But then, this time, not girls that 'conquer' the gol anymore but the boys.Haha.What a funny game!Nevermind, its our own way to play right? We still enjoyed it.Keep it up guys.Nice job but make sure you guys dont 'angkat tiang gol' just like what our PJ teacher told us last time.

I will miss her laugh. Рухийх Джений (Ruhiyyih Jeanne)

Sweet memories

We will still meet girls one day later.I believe that.

Hold tight each other which means WE WILL KEEP IN TOUCH  although we will separate after this.


Whoever that dint joined this reunion should be regret because who knows we cannot meet again after this.Atira will move to Paris soon with her family and will stay there and I will further my studies at Russia there this coming September.Who knows the others also plan to go to overseas as well.We believe that we can reach our ambition! It is not IMPOSSIBLE when we believe we can do it!

We are trying to reach ur ambition.CONVERTING FANTASY to REALITIY

Some of the memories that we captured on that day

Nice one! Lycadson and me. However quite spoiled because I looks so short beside him.
Но ето факт. Я не высокая девушка. Как халь...

What a nice shoot! Back view is totally amazed me.Sea side view.Awesomeeee!

My photo taken by my best friend without my knowledge.Can be consider as candid.

Here we are.We are super duper girls.We are best friends forever.Agree? Haha

What is this? I am trying to write my name in Russian,`Памела Стеци Лоррен'.
Well, that is my name! 

Here we are. We unite again!

Where we met? We met at Esplanade.A perfect and super duper place to reunite. Esplanade is a beautiful beach in Miri.For sure I will miss that beach damn much soon.
When we met? We met 19 May 2012.
A history day

Good luck to all of us!

Hope we can meet again

Paka!

Удачи в жизни!

Once Again I Involve In Modelling 

This time I joined beauty paegent that was organised by Sony .If I win, I will renown as Sony model and be reward a camera.But I dint joined this because I want all of that.I just want to gain more experience in modelling field since now I take medic field as my future profession.I hope I can achieve my ambition as a model 1 day later eventhough my other ambition is doctor. Amen...

This is the 1st picture that I sent to the modelling agency

But then, TRANSFORMATION! They edited my photo...haha...I also very surprised with the picture that they had edited.It quite awesome...but anyway, thank you very much to them.

This is totally out of my mind.This seems like not me.However, it is me.I am qualify for the 2nd round.

This was taken when I participated in beauty paegent for the 1st time.

They asked me whether I ever participated in any paegent or catwalk show.Then, I can only show them this.Im so sad because I never involve in catwalk before this.Haish...but nevermind...hopefully 1 day later I will have that chance. 

Well, this is me. I am a simple ut of simple.Very simple! 

  Why? Too faked is it? Its not my fault.For I myself, I prefer natural beauty.I dont even wear make up when I go out.I prefer natural beauty.Dont you think so?

This is the picture that they edit it for me. This is the photo for 1st round.

Thank you for everyone that had voted for me.I really appreciate it.

Большое спасибо!
Now Im already qualify for the 3rd round.Thanks a lot for all your support.

Pieces of Memories During 2nd Sem 

Кто они? Какие красивие преподавательници! Зто наши любимие 

преподавательници! Наша заботливая Мисс Ольга и наша талантливая Мисс Ольга.

Зто я и мoя Мисс Ольга. Она очень красивая. 

Вот наш замечательный президент. Его зовут Шамин. Можно проста Самин.

Вот наша группа. Ко-рln night! Mbl пели и танцевали в етой ночи. Мы самая хорошая группа! Мы танцевали малайскую, английскую и русскую песню. Зто бывал самый великалепный момент!

Too many things happened! Cannot be describe by words...only the one that experience it know how it feel...

Lets take a look at these photos that record all the sweet & bitter memories that I had experienced in 2nd sem..

Русская Группа 18 

             Посмотрите внимательно пожалуйста...хаха 

Зто мая любимая группа (18Б)
Вот наша красивая русская преподавательница, Мисс Ольга 

Thats all that I can express here my dear friends.
Wish me luck so that I can fly to Russia this coming September to further my studies.
Hope to see all of you again.
God bless everyone.
Paka!

My New Spirit Of Life


                        Now, everything seems quite ok for me.Amen.Hopefully it will last until the end of my toughest challenge.Fuh! Thank you to everyone that support me all this while.I will never forget all of you.Thats is what we meant by TRUE FRIENDS.True friends is not just a friend that willing to laugh with you but they also must willing to share your sadness & give full support whenever they feel down.


                         Teperb bseyo budit kharasho. Amen. A big applause for my very special one in my life because he always beside me although he is not here.But our heart always together.We share our sadness & joyness together. I know that one day later we will meet again.A very big applause to мой дорогой Брайен. я скучаю по тебе....

Я скучаю моего любимоего Брайена♥ 

Sorry because I cannot spend too much time to update this block. My rasskass wait for me because I need to present it tomorrow.

Udachi for me...xaxa

Paka-paka....

Super Damn I Miss My Dear Friends

I miss my dear friends very much.I miss to spend time with them.Huhu...sounds so wrong....LOL...they are my sisters...we are separated in our own way after we received our SPM result.Before this, we always fight with each other.Im very regret now because did something stupid like that.I miss them super damn much right now.

However, Im happy for them because they will be successful peoples one day later.I really hope that they will succed in their own life.I never tell them that I love them super much because my mouth quite 'heavy'.LOL! Nevermind, I will just keep it in my heart.I will always pray for the best for them.I am very sorry my dear friends if I hurt your feelings all this while.

Now, lets meet with my angels.Here are they....(they are superb damn beautiful)...it is sincerely from my heart...althought they always said that I am more beautiful among all of us, but I dont think so.I think that they are angels that cheerish my dull life.They have beautiful appearance & attitude.That is what a real beauty should be describe.Now I will introduce to all of you the angels that I mentioned just now...*jeng jeng jeng

Jalina, me, Safrina & Atira

me, Priscilla & Gabriella

Gabriella,Jennifer,Syaeeza,me,Safrina,Jeanne,Atira & Norazreen

Good luck to all my dear friends.Hopefully all of us will succeed in our own life.Dont forget about our friendship & the sweet & sour moment that we have spent together.It will always burried in my heart forever & ever.

Take care my dear friends.

Miss World love all of you & really appreciate your friendship.

Wish to see all of you in the future.

 Удачи !

The True Fact of Life


Since Im stranded at this foreign place & far away from my family especially my mum, I keep on discover the black & white of this real life.You will never experience the beauty of life if you didnt get through all of the obstacles in this life.I never being far from my family before this.Thats why I dint realise the rules of this life.It is not easy like what u thought.It will drown you in its cycle.Before this I always have my mum by my side whenever I have problem.

I hug my mum like this.I miss her hug

If that problem is too personal & I feel I cannot share it with my mum,I still have my best friends that always willing to become my good listener.I never be alone in my life all this while.Every problems that I face in my life, I can manage it wisely because in my mind naturally set,'Dont worry, you still have your family & friends that will always by your side.You can handle all of this.They will always support you'.

                       But now, everything is totally change! Everything was going upside down in my life.Before this, I am very tough person.I always be the most brave one among my friends.I am the one that always give advice to them & convince them that everything will be ok one day later.Just need to put a bit of patience in your life.However, since Im stranded in this foreign place, I feel that my life here is just like 'living dead body'.Its only my body that can still move but my soul & my spirit had return to heaven or hell.I live here without any relatives, friends & the most main thing, without my family.Live in a new environment is not an easy task to be adapt into one's life.It can be consider as culture shock.Thats person will run here and there to search for his or her own direction in life.Thats was what totally happened to me.At first, I thought it just the beginning.After this, it will all over and I will live my life just like normal.However, when things getting worst,you will start to lost hope in your life.Without any friends or family to express your feeling, it will make it worst.You will just keep it in your heart & try to believe me, one day later, it will burst somehow.

                         One thing that you cannot escape from your life is you need to let go of your tears.Letting your tears to fall down your cheeks will make you better for a while & will lessen your burden that was burried in your heart all this while.No one will ever understand your feeling because they dint experience it by their own. If you share with someone new in your life also, they will never understand you.Believe me.They will just sympathy with you.We dont need their sympathy because all we need is just a hope & guide from God so that we can find our own identity in this world. That was what happened to me.Nobody understand me.Whenever my tears fall from my cheeks, I can feel that my heart stop beating.I feel very pain on my chest.Its very hard for me to breath just like normal.In my mind, why dont if my heart just stop beating.Why need to torture me like this? I am also a normal human in this world.I also have my own ability and weaknessess.I also have my own feelings.Sometimes I can handle my problems & sometimes I cannot handle it.My tears drop almost everyday.But, I ever tried to tell myself, 'Dont worry my dear, all will be fine.Its just a beginning in your own life.Everyone in this world also have problem like you.Not you are the only one that have problem in this world.Its just that everyone have different problem.Dont worry.All will be fine.Just be patience for a while my dear'.However,when all your problems come to you & make you suffocate,it will end up in your mind by this,'Oh my god, why dont you just take my life? Why do you need to torture me like this? Dont you love me? Are you willing to see me in this condition everyday? What have I done in the previous life? Did I commit too many sins in the last life? 

                      Once in my life, I think of commit suicide so that I can end my miserable life that is very empty without anyone inside it.Eventhough you tell with the new person in your life,it does not make a difference at all.Suddenly, I remembered about my family especially my mum.My mum hope that I can be a successful person one day later.She hope that I can take care of her just like what she did to raise me since I born into this world.Then, her smile keep on playing in my mind.She is the most beautiful woman in my life.She is very caring.That makes me think,' how could you break her heart by doing all this stupid things?! You must be shame of yourself! If you do this, she will never smile anymore.How could you ruin her happiness?'.That was the main thing that make me think twice whenever I feel very down in my life. She is my source of inspiration.She will always in my heart & mind forever and ever.

                      Thats was what actually happened to me.Its a true story.Now, Im still searching for myself that was lost in my own life.I hope god will have sympathy on me & guide or show me the way to the better one.Lets pray for me so that everything will be ok.
Amen.